July 12, 2009 – 8:13 pm
It’s not you, California, it’s me.
I know it’s a cliché break-up line, but I think it’s actually very fitting in this situation. I really do like you, California, but at this stage in my life I’m afraid we’re just not right for each other. As you may recall, I’ve been quite vocal about this issue in the past. So when I was recently given an opportunity to relocate to New York City, I had to accept it. No, this has nothing to do with your recent financial hardship. I don’t care about the money (or lack thereof). And no, this has nothing to do with your wheatgrass smoothies and organic flax seed crackers. I’m cool with that, I really am. This is all about me and my desire to live in a cramped apartment and rely on a filthy subway system to get around. Call me crazy, but that’s just what I’m looking for right now.
But, California, we still have a few months together, and I’d still like to remain friends after we go our separate ways (well, actually it’s just me that is going a separate way, unless you decide to break off into the ocean). So I thought I would take this opportunity to reflect on our two and a half years together and to perhaps express a bit of long overdue gratitude.
First off, let me be honest about something. I really had no intention of becoming acquainted with you, California. Upon graduating from college in upstate New York, I was primarily looking for jobs in metropolitan areas on the east coast, or at least reasonably close to the east coast. My heart belonged to places like Boston, New York City, and Chicago. But then you came along, California, offering intrigue and a career opportunity that was too good to pass up. We had actually never met before. I had only heard about you from watching Saved By The Bell reruns on Saturday morning television. So I packed up my car up with sunscreen, fluorescent green sunglasses, and acid-washed jeans and drove 3,000 miles across the country to be with you. Although I don’t like to admit that we met on a blind date, we both know it’s really the truth.
Our first year together was great, wasn’t it California? Although you weren’t quite like what Saved By The Bell led me to believe, I found your endless sunshine and undeniably laid-back attitude fresh and new. We saw a lot that first year. There were beaches and snow capped mountains, Golden bridges and breathtaking vineyards. And food. Did I mention the food? Never in my life had I seen so much variety in food within driving distance. And I can’t forget the incredible, fresh produce available all year long. Oh, yeah, and out In-N-Out.
Most importantly, I’d like to thank you, California, for introducing me to so many incredible people. Through you, I’ve made many friends for life. Saying goodbye to these friends will undoubtedly be the hardest part about leaving. But like you must surely understand by now, California, these friends I’m sure also understand why I must be moving on. They’ve done a marvel job putting up with my complaining all this time.
It was probably after our first year together, California, that I realized we wouldn’t be together forever. I began longing for the faster paced east coast city lifestyle that I originally intended to have after college. 
Unfortunately, at the time I wasn’t sure what the best way to end our relationship was, which is why it’s taken me so long to tell you all of this. I hope you’ll forgive me, California. I never intended for it to end this way. I admit, a blog post is not the most respectful way to break up with someone.
And so in closing, California, I’d like to thank you for the memories, life lessons, adventures, minor earthquakes and friendships. If given the opportunity to do it all over again, would I change anything? Absolutely not. It’s been an incredible, irreplaceable experience. But don’t be sad, California. I’m certain that we will still see each other from time to time. I hope we can find the time to meet up whenever I need a dose of sunshine or a reminder that my carbon footprint is a little bigger than it should be.
P.S. Mind if I take like 30 of your avocados with me when I leave? kthx!
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